Girl Talk - "Friday Night"
from Night Ripper (Illegal Art)

The crippling immediacy of cueing iPod data turns me into a 10-year-old. I'm constantly trying to relive that neck-hair-raising euphoria of hearing my fave song over-n-over-n-over with no regard to the fact that making tape-edit remixes of "U Can't Touch This" (yes, I actually did this) was keeping me from doing my social studies homework. I haven't been eating my vegetables (Steve Reich, Cold Crush Brothers, Gong) 'cause I can just have ice cream all day (Fall Out Boy, D4L, Ying-Yang Twins)

That's why Girl Talk made the best album of the year: it's a scientific impossibility for there to be a better album! This Cleveland copyright-molester is a cross between Hollertronix and John Oswald, taking 164 of the most unfuckwithable songs ever--Missy, M.A.R.R.S, M.I.A., Madonna--and turning em into the empirically proven best party album in the history of humanity.

Throw away your record collection now. All the staples are here ("Wait," "1 Thing," "The Whisper Song," "Hypnotize," "Laffy Taffy," "Random," "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House," "Heartbeat"), so you won't need those MP3s anymore. All the best PARTS of songs are here (the rimclick solo in "Cannonball" and nothing else, the "ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo" from that Rentals song and nothing else), so you won't need those either (you should really lose that Rentals album anyway, though). Even the best parts of songs you don't like are here (Girl Talk exploits the listenable 8 seconds of "My Humps" to glorious results).

Matos puts it simply: Girl Talk takes a song you like and then mixes it with "Galang"... where can you go wrong? Personally, I like that it does the mash-up thing without the laptop-hunched sting of an oh-so-clever juxtaposion (WTF I KILLED MR. COLLIPARK WITH MY BIG FUCKING DICK!!!11). The word 'mash-up' doesn't do this album justice, since the songs don't lose their unique flavors to a pixel-pushing dormdork giving something a wacky title. It's more like a candy shop record, all your fave treats on view, and you're forced to shove them all in your mouth for pure Super-Squishy delerium.

It deserves to be more populist than it ultimately will be (linking Elastica and Ciara won't get as many news articles as something stupid like mixing Rubber Soul with "Rubberband Man"), so be sure to buy a copy and play it in mixed company. Offer to DJ a school dance and just play Night Ripper. Drive around the mall for an hour and blast Night Ripper. Air drop Night Ripper on your hometown like humanitarian aid. Get on my level. Feel my heartbeat. Pump up the volume.

Buy it here
Download it here
Hurry before over 164 lawyers descend on this thing!

Period - "Period" (excerpt)
from Period (Funhole)

The cuddly art-honkers from Braxtoncore squigglerband Zs have been putting on an exceptional series of shows at the Cake Shop called "From B To Z," showcasing lots of local outer-outer-limit talent.

Last night's show was a sweltering joy featuring terrifying aggro-jazzers Owl Xounds Exploding Galaxy, moan-wave sirens Imaginary People, sexy-retard hardcore smirk-offs The Fugue, and psych brooders Eystek

Since I just spent 20 minutes tracking down links for a half-dozen subterranean avant-wonks, I'll keep the rest mercifully brief. Period is the side-project of sproingly Zs keyboardist Charlie Lookner (here on guitar) and flurry-tantrum drummer Mike Pride of Dynamite Club. Together, they sound like Derek Bailey covering the Melvins--stiltedly jerking through washes of bent guitar drone and jazzpunk drumflutter for 26 neck-cracking minutes. Their album is on FuckingA (which is Zs' CD-R label) and is only, like, $6!


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