making plans for nigels

northsix, 12/18

Indie-snobs must have really convinced themselves that they like sunnO))), since only 1/4 of the room cleared instead of the usual 1/2. The smoke machine reached the very back corners of the club, and the bowel-cleansing bass tones vibrated through the bleachers: a safer way to catch a cheap thrill than, say, sitting on the pool filter

But the real treat was the cryptic on-stage audience-baiting from black-metal purists Nachtmystium. Quoth Nachtmystium lead singer Azentrius before launching into one especially brutal number: "We don't give a fuck about any of you nigel hipsters!!!"

Naturally, I was curious. At first, i thought he must have been trying to make a reference to Arthur magazine, who dillegently (though reverently) fan the flames of black metal's recent hipster currency. Or maybe Azentrius was pointing to the ironic posturings of Spinal Tap's Nigel St. Hubbins?

So, I asked Azentrius, a boisterous fellow with a mischevious grin hidden behind a wall of sweaty brown hair, at his merch booth.

Apparently, Wrest, the dude from nihilistic one-man blackest-metal juggernaut Leviathan came up with the term in a moment of inspired mysanthropy. Azentrius is just spreading the word. i cannot resist to do my part:

('nI-jel 'hip-st&r)
Noun: Anyone who appreciates or supports black metal for ironic reasons, or because they find it humorous.
Ex.: Azentrius says that this article was written by a nigel hipster.


film falm!

Remember that scene in one of the shitty new Star Wars where it's like, "Blah blah blah trade embargos blah blah?" Imagine that for two hours.

Chicken Little

Chicken Little In Disney Digital 3-D
OMG!!! WTF!!! And I get to keep the glasses?!

Harry Potter And The Something Or Other
Wasting a weekend reading a kid's book is stupider than petitioning a record company for a new Fiona Apple record. Why don't you just spend the afternoon in front of the microwave so you live two days less? Watching a two-hour kid's movie, however, is rad for the creepy ending that looks like a Chris Cunningham video.

The Repenetrator
I don't give a fuck if we are watching a reanimated zombie splatter-porn... don't talk in the movie theatre, asshole!

Walk The Line
This is a very cool date movie if your girlfriend is sick of you taking her to midnight showings of reanimated zombie splatter-porn (like mine is). I call dibs on the role of Rick Rubin in the sequel!(PS - If you buy the cast recording to this, that means someone gets an advance on a script for Legally Blonde 3).

First the Clutters die. My faith in the New York Film Festival voting bloc promptly followed.